Take a deep breath

How do you relax?

To start off by saying I am not good at relaxing. I am only good at projects that I only sometimes finish and mindlessly watching tv or talking on the phone.

So I’m not really right to answer this question for others. Which is why I am answering it for me as if I’m asking the question. Because, frankly I need to learn how to relax. I think I’ll start with some ideas on how to relax:

• Taking a bath
• Having some tea
• Doing skin care
• Listening to music
• Walking in the forest
• Sitting on a beach
• Boiling pasta (idk I’m Italian. It brings me peace)

Well anyway some of these are specific to me. Like the pasta one for example and maybe skin care as well.

The truth is I like many others don’t actually know how to relax. I don’t know how to be not busy. I need to be busy. I crave something to do. Which is especially difficult if you have a bed bound disability or a flair up ready to ruin your plans. So how do we deal with it? How can we relax when we cannot be busy. How can we realistically calm down and relax if our normal pleasures are too much for us? This is the question I’ve had to ask myself often. With the inability to work or even attend university, I find myself suffering mentally from not being able to enjoy projects and unable to complete normal tasks.

It is crazy to me how before I became disabled, I was so active and busy all the time. And suddenly like a light switch, it wasn’t but felt that way, I had nothing to do. Again I had much to do but it felt like I was endlessly seeking new activities. And the worst part is finding one you enjoy and not being able to continue it for some reason.

Disabilities aren’t always just visible problems or the invisible pain or complications that keep you out of work. They are so much more than that. It’s not being able to knit even though you used to make blankets and scarves for yourself and your community. It’s loving to cook and having to purchase accessibility devices so you don’t accidentally cut your hand off or burn the food. Or worse, having to buy prepared food because you can’t cook at all. It’s more than that too. It’s having your relationships tested and failing because it’s hard to explain why you can’t do things or why you need some time or extra communication.

Finding moments to relax is so important for everyone it needs to be made a priority.